Relationship, Trauma

Broken, not Defective

We live in a fallen world. The truth is, we were never meant to be apart from God. He created us to love and be in relationship with Him. “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” – Psalm 139:13-14.

The garden was the first trauma; the irrevocable decision that severed the connection in our head, hearts and body. When I think of those first few moments outside of Eden, the image I hold is one of confused agony. Adam and Eve probably looked around at the harsh world, traumatized by their decision to deviate from the divine plan. We have been doing everything in our power since then to get back that missing piece through earthly relationships, enlightenment, penance, good works, or finding something to worship entirely separate from God. Even those who claim to not believe in anything, believe in someone…including sociopaths!

What I am learning is that the desire to be in relationship is rooted in connection to the Father. The trouble is, the road map to that connection is not easy to read, and even harder to follow, especially after the fall. That leaves a bunch of confused, agonizing travelers on the road to whole-hearted living. Broken. Forever changed by a choice, made at the beginning, that remains in our DNA, and will until the end.

In my conversations with Christians the word “broken” is often used, and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Yes, we are broken, and yes we need Jesus, however, broken feels hopeless to me; like the pieces are scattered in the wind.

Broken also feels like an excuse.

It is the excuse we tag on the end of every bad decision, ever failed relationship, and to justify why we are “better” than someone else, or not good enough. We use language like, “they are so broken,” or “I am broken” and somehow that smooths over choices made against what our spirit knows to be true. Broken becomes a state of being, and responsibility for poor choices takes a back seat.

I choose to see things differently. We are broken, but we are not defective.

Every one of us is a beautiful mosaic of colorful glass. It is in the brokenness, the raw edges, and jagged lines that beauty is revealed. There is purpose in a mosaic; a story to be told. The unformed pieces are still capable of bringing joy to the viewer, or inspiration to the observer. But it is the connection of those pieces to the whole, crafted together by the creator, that reveals the true purpose. There is no defect in a mosaic, only points of interest. The same is true for us. We are broken because Sin is in the world, but that is not our end. The beginning was in the garden, and the end is yet to come. In an ever-changing world that calls into question connection, relationship, responsibility and purpose, we must cling to what is true; that we are created in His image ALL, and we suffered trauma as a result of sin. We are all of us broken, but we are all here by design and with intention. Our mosaic is being crafted by the loving hands of the Holy Spirit. Each new part is an opportunity to show the world the beauty of His master piece. “For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed.” – Romans 8:19.

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What does your mosaic say about your journey? Which pieces have you clung desperately too, hiding away at the edge believing they served no purpose in the whole? Or, that you don’t want revealed in the design…?

Our walk today pauses to look at the scenery, and notice the shards of glass we have dropped along the way.

Where do they belong? Is it really our choice to leave them behind? “Woe to those who quarrel with their Maker, those who are nothing but potsherds among the potsherds on the ground. Does the clay say to the potter, ‘What are you making?’ Does your work say, ‘The potter has no hands’?” – Isaiah 45:9. Perhaps it is time to entrust the Father with the design, for it is His masterpiece, instead of trying to deviate from what was originally intended. Isn’t that what started the problem in the first place? “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” – Ephesians 2:10

My challenge to you this week is to find something you buried along the way. Pick it up, feel it in your hands, and in your heart. Where do you feel the pain in your body? Let’s take a moment to examine that, and bring awareness to the fact that it was never really gone; pain waits for you. I invite you to share, if you feel called, so that we can begin to shine light into the darkness.

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